Love Theatre, Hate Drama

First, as a totally unrelated update...I'm feeling better but not great. I still have strange pain in my back/flank/side/left part of my abdomen pretty much 75% of the time. My primary care physician is pretty sure that the antibiotic that he put me on in April mixed with the unusually high amount of acid that my stomach produces (average is 5-20, mine at one point was in the 90s) and cooked the inside of my stomach producing Gastritis and possibly Ulcerative Colitis. Either way, I have been watching what I eat, not taking advil or aleve when I have a headache, as they are a big no no, and everyone will love this...I've eliminated alcohol from my diet. What a joke. I don't stinking drink. I go back to the GI doctor next week for another round of tests that will probably include an upper GI, and hopefully not an endoscope or a colonoscopy. First, that's expensive, second the prep almost did me in two years ago, I'd rather not do it again. It's a pain in the butt! HA!!

Anywho...on to the title of this blog.If you are reading this you probably know me, if you don't, you can read some of the first blogs and see that I'm a pretty plain and simple girl. I'm 31, single, have an awesome family and some rocking friends.

As I have written before, Eric from East Texas and I have known each other forever. We talked a few times right around my 30th birthday. A year passed. I text messaged him on his birthday in March and he started texting me again. It made me wicked uncomfortable. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it at first, but over the course of the next few days the texts turned from how are you, to when can I see you. I stopped answering them, being the non confrontational kind of girl I am (haha). Then I told him that it was making me a little uncomfortable considering he was married and saying that he wanted to hang out with me without his wife. They were having trouble and even if he still had feelings for me, he would never act on them.

Can I get a what what?

He mentioned that he still had the letter that I wrote him (when I was 15 or so), and he would never cheat on his wife. I sat, stunned into silence, which we know is rare and replied to the text that I definitely never wanted to be in any situation where my character or his would even remotely be compromised or questioned. My friends agreed that it was also weird and to stay away.

Flash forward to last night when I received a lovely facebook message from his wife blaming me for ruining a 14 year relationship/ 11 year marriage. Apparently it's all my fault. I have single handedly broken the hearts of their 11 and 9 year olds. She's devastated.

She also writes messages like a drunk 10 year old.

But that's just me being catty. Meow.

I emailed her back, basically gave her the down low of what when down between the two of us to which she responded that it's all on me. Apparently I'm the cause of it. There was really no reason to it, but it's my fault.

Here's my thought on the whole thing.

1. That man called me. We talked. Nothing happened.
2. That man suggested that he venture to my home, sans wife. I disagreed and stopped talking to him.
3. I texted man to say happy birthday. Was it the right thing to do, probably not, but I did it out of friendship, not malicious spite.
4. When man suggested that he visit again, that his marriage was based on wife getting pregnant and was going down the toliet, I told him no.
5. I even took the blame saying that it was me that was uncomfortable and he got pissed.

Apparently I'm a homewrecker.

I know that this isn't on me.

I know all I can do is pray for them.

And for me.

Sheesh.

I love theatre, but I hate drama.

Romancing the Stone....

So, after being diagnosed with kidney infection I took antibiotics for a week. Felt worse. Back to the doctor who ordered a CT scan and said, "three millimenter stone lodged in your ureter" go to the urologist. The urologist said, "This isn't a kidney stone, it's a calcium deposit, but this too shall pass." And gave me some prostate medication (no lie) to open up my ureter and urethra, and I stayed home for two days and a weekend and felt awful as I strained everything that left my body. Felt better and went to school...because TAKS won't test itself. Back to the urologist on Wednesday who took a different kind of xray and said, "nothing's changed, we're going in after it."

And when I woke up, my mom told me the news. No stone. My doctor had already gone back to work.

Back to the urologist and my primary care physician next week. I'm going to chalk this up to age, take a vicodin and move on.

When I woke up I had a dose of phenegran and some other anti-nausea med. Then my back spasmed--in the same place that all of this started three weeks ago--and it took 1 dose of liquid vicodin and three shots of morphine to make it stop. It's done it three other times since Friday. Any suggestions?

I'm just going to go to my doctor's office and refuse to leave until he tells me what is wrong, or tells me that I'm crazy and it's all in my head....which at this point would at least be a reason.

And that picture is of the procedure that was done on Friday. I was knocked out, but no wonder my back hurts...those stirrups are high! I don't know how you mommas did that!!

Where Have You Been All My Life

Ok...maybe I'm just a little lame and wanted to post...but this snack is "snacktastic." I do love goldfish...and the extreme ones are great...and I love pretzels, but this little snack is fantastic. I'm sure all you moms out there already knew about this, but I saw them in Wal-Mart today and decided to try them and I am so glad that I did!!

I was in the lovely Wal-Mart Superstore today waiting on my prescriptions for my KIDNEY INFECTION. What the heck. I have never had one, and this stinks. Seriously. Back Pain, Nausea, weird fevery skin with low fever. Stinks. PLEASE say a little prayer because it could be the start of a kidney stone, but I am hoping that it isn't!! The biggest bummer is that I won't be going to Dallas for this little guy's second birthday.



I am sure his mom knows how to use the camera...but I was going to try to take 200 pictures like I did last year. :o)

Swagbucks

http://swagbucks.com/?cmd=sb-register&rb=433624

Swagbucks...totally legit, and we should all be doing it!! It doesn't take long at all. I've had it about a week and have 30 bucks already. I need many more to purchase bigger gift cards, but I'm told that having friends add is the best way to up your points...so go to that link and add add add!!

April 7- I ♥ Faces

Just wanted to enter this contest that I found online at the blog above. It's got great pictures and you should take a look!

My nieces have their moments where they can bicker with the best of them, but I can't imagine two better friends for each other or their favorite Aunt Debra!

SWAG BUCKS

I read about this on a blog I trust...so you should do it!

http://swagbucks.com/?cmd=sb-register&rb=433624

Please use the promotion code HENDRICK (case sensitive) and then go to Heather's blog and leave a comment and you will get entered into a drawing for a 20 dollar gift certificate to TARGET!

Heather's blog is http://www.allthingshendrick.blogspot.com/

Swagbucks is powered by google, and you basically earn points for searching and turn the points into giftcards and such. You know you wanna do it!!

Grace

This time last year I wrote a post entitled Grace. You're more than welcome to visit it there. Maybe it's just the time of year (very very busy at school), but Grace is something I'm really struggling with right now.

Am I the only one?

I really try to believe and have faith that no matter what I've done, and no matter what I may struggle with, God's grace covers me for eternity. I think it's the most amazing thing and the most difficult thing (at least for me) to understand about Christianity. I mean seriously folks, what did I do to deserve the love of the creator of the universe?

I think all earthly love is conditional...well not conditional, but maybe situational. Bear with me as I ramble on here.

I know that sounds weird, and it's just me typing here, but even if you are married or you have kids...that love is conditional. Would you love your kids if they weren't yours? Would you love your spouse if he was someone elses? Would you love your siblings or parents if they weren't yours?

God's love...the love and compassion that we can find through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, is unconditional. Sometimes its just too much for me to comprehend. I'm hoping that as I mature as a Christian that it will become an easier concept to understand.

I just don't feel very worthy of it sometimes. Then, I know that's me not having enough faith, so then I feel guilty for not believing. Sheesh. Why am I so hard on myself.

Oh well...I know this is a strange post, but I will end with this...If you pray please send up a little prayer for me, but send up some big prayers for Stellan. I follow MckMama's blog and have since before this little one was born. He's struggling a bunch right now.

Love and such...
Debra

Babies, Basketball, and Bonus Brothers

Even though I usually post pictures on my picture blog, I thought I would make an exception. This weekend I spent a lot of time on the road and got to see basketball, babies and my bonus brothers.

Basketball

This is a shot from the second floor of our school before the playoff/send off pep rally for our girls basketball team, state swimming qualifiers and state wrestler.

This is our girls basketball team...pretty and pretty awesome. They lost in the regional finals, one game out from the state tournament. It was harsh. But...it happens. Most of our swimmers placed, including a pretty awesome freshman. And our wrestler got second in her weight class.

Babies

In between watching basketball in Austin (see pictures below) and Waco (see pep rally above) I got to see my friend Robin and her two sweet girls...Tyler (23 months) and Dylan (4 months).

Bonus Brothers... I got to hang out with the Netsch boys and one of the Land boys while I was in Austin to watch Taylor's senior night game.

I wish I could write about these kids and do justice to their senses of humor, intelligence and pure love for one another. You can't see Kristen on the far left but she's a cutie! Nick is the oldest (glasses), Marcus is the middle child (3rd of 4) and Lucas is the 2nd oldest. They really do make me laugh so much!

Even though you can't see his face (I'll post a clear one below), this is one of my favorite pictures of Taylor. He's so unassuming and humble and just an amazing guy. He was looking down while all of his stats were being read. That's just the way he is. Please pray for him. This was at the game on Thursday, he proceeded to play baseball on Friday (yep, 2 sports at the division 2 level, graduating with a 4.0 in may...really), and break his arm badly enough to warrant surgery during Saturday night's game. Please pray for strength and healing. He's got a good grip on his life, spiritually and otherwise, but it can't be easy to have the thing you love taken away from you before you were quite finished with it (their team will be in the playoffs and he was seriously considering a tryout with a European team). Love him to pieces.

Blogging...The Dirty Truth.

I blog stalk.

Big Time.

I read about people lives that I've known for what seems like a lifetime.

And I love to read about people I've never met. I've referred to these people in conversation as friends. Sort of sad but true.

Don't judge.

And, in a totally unrelated matter. Who made an entire cookie sheet of homemade Nestle Tollhouse cookies valentine's night...I am taking most of them to work tomorrow to get them out of my house...but how single woman at home was that!

You can read about people that I actually know in real life:

Erin (Harper) and Jeff Rose -- my favorite newlywed couple

Charis (Adams) and Sam Lau--as they venture around the country on their way to East Asia for mission work.

Jenny (Fuqua) and Brad Smucker--a friend from dear old Navasota that went to UMHB our freshman year

Angel (Foster) and Russ Weir--went to UMHB. Have one bio and two adopted kids...very sweet blog

Amazing other blogs...warning they are seriously addicting. Don't blame your husband and kids not being fed on me!!

The Pioneer Woman. Shut UP! She's amazing. The food alone is worth your time. I made the molasses cookies at Christmas this year to rave reviews. And the best sheet cake ever went over amazingly at the most recent counselor birthday bash. For those of you who've had my rum cake, she published the same one (from the Bacardi bottle)...and the sheet cake is even better. When you have massive amounts of time, read the "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels) set. It's hysterical. She's amazing. Does giveaways, and 10000+ people read her blog daily. Seriously.

The Bacak Nation. Don't know her...but my readers (ha!) will love her. Her little brother is Robbie Seay as is the Robbie Seay Band, a famous Christian group. Her older brothers are Brian Seay who works for Compassion International and Chris Seay who just published a new translation of The Bible called the voice. She's wise and amazing and I want to be like her when I grow up. The links on the side of her blog are great too. Check out Lynsey Kramer's Blog...her photography is awesome.

MckMama. I don't have kids, but this lady can write and is crazy. 4 kids under 4. Seriously. She is so stinking funny.

Last but not least is Angie Smith. Her husband Todd is the lead singer of the Christian group Selah. It is the most heart wrenching thing you have ever read...go back to the beginning....and moms beware, it's about the loss of a child and tough choices that had to be made about carrying a child who would not survive to term. She's amazing and crazy and funny and a phenomenal writer. You will spend hours reading this blog from the beginning the first time. I did. My sister did too.

Again...I have know idea how I came across all of these. You know they all just link to one another at some point I'm sure.

Here's a bit of small world for you. Angie Smith is this global scale kind of blog. She talked about emailing and getting to know another woman in her same situation named Sara from Texas. She's a girl I went to college with...nuts right.

Happy stalking...and don't say I didn't warn you.

~debra

Seriously

Seriously.

This is going to sound like the rant of desperate single 30 year old woman.

I guess it's a little of that.

I've tried the online thing on and off for almost 7 years. That's right. 7. I joined a website that's affiliated with the denomination that I belong to in the spring of 2002. I would join for three months or six months, then not be on for a while. Then I did match.com. Then eharmony. For the first three months of eharmony I got like 10 matches and repeated emails about how I was too selective and too narrow about my choices.

I've been on two dates. Good odds. I'd like my money back.

I've written back and forth with guys several times...and it always ends in the same way. Let me take you down a little of that road.

Dr. in Oklahoma (when I lived in Dallas). Wrote back and forth for a month. Finally sent a picture to him (this was back in the day before the camera in your phone days). Emails ended. As in, never heard back.

Professional Golfer in Kerville. Wrote back and forth for three months. Thats right three months. He saw pictures. He wasn't a super catch either...but he was pretty cute. Then the emails stopped. Cold turkey. Never heard from him again.

Cop in Midland. Wrote back and forth for a few weeks. He decided we were just too different. Stopped writing, but at least had the decency to tell me he was.

Banker in Amarillo. Thought this one might actually be different. He wrote me first. Saw a picture before we even started writing and wrote anyway. Wrote well. Wrote nice emails and said fairly similar things that I actually enjoyed hearing.

Then they stopped. Just like the others.

Look. I know. Things change. You decide you see something in a person or read something in a response that triggers an alarm that makes you want to run for the hills.

Seriously. Write the hard email. Be honest. We aren't dating we are just getting to know one another. I'm not gonna cry or get upset. Sure I will probably blog about it.

But you don't even know that I blog.

I try to have the faith that everything works out for a reason. And I know that. I try to cling to the hope that God's timing and God's plan for my life will include a husband and maybe some kiddos.

Sometimes its just hard to imagine when you can't even get one to write you back.

Or at least be man enough to say why you don't want to.

Dummy.