ARGGG!!

Seriously. WTF.

First, I got hired for a summer position with the district that pays three grand for about 7 weeks fo work. I will be on my own schedule in June and done by the 3rd of July. Awesome. My principal also asked me to write and compile curriculm for a new class for next year and is paying me. I have all summer. Not too bad either. Another grand. This is not the WTF.

I guess I had one of those days today. You know what I'm talking about. The kind of days where you question what's wrong with you and the answer is nothing at all. I think it's the whole turning thirty thing. Yep, lets blame it on that. Again, I'm not unhappy. I'm just wishing that certain aspects of my life were a little different. I feel like that's all I talk about and think about, but I don't really have control over that. Maybe it's that lack of control that drives me bonkers. I'm pretty type A about other aspects of my life, so it doesn't shock me that I feel that way.

I have a headache because I came home and slept for three hours, and now I can't sleep. Things are running through my head about two hundred miles an hour. I feel as though I can't get out what I use to. I feel like what's going on with me is pretty trivial and I shouldn't be gripey about it. My life's good. Why complain. My friends have so many other good or bad things going on that I feel like if I call them to talk that would be bothersome. Trust me, I know that it wouldn't because I have great friends, it's just how I feel right now.

Open anonymously addressed thoughts to people I know: be careful and think it through, talk to your wife more, he's a jerk for breaking up with you like that, value yourself more, don't bitch about your life, visit your parents, if you date the same person again and again do you think things will be different, be happy about what God gives you--not unhappy about what he doesn't.

Hell, I don't know. I'm rambling. I'm not mad or sad or really even all that confused. I think that work has been bad for the last two weeks and will be busy from here on out, turning 30 has been a little bittersweet...but all my flirty thirty friends say that it is fabulous, and I just got two jobs for the summer and it's all hitting me at once.

I wish I had some ice cream.
Or some girl scout cookies.

Thanks for making it through this rant.